you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
