We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
