you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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