its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
So vagazzling was a success
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize