how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
