I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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