we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Found your dick twin last night
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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