She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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