There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
