He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
