Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
