R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I wish you could order shots online.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
