and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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