I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
