you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Found your dick twin last night
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
