508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
