I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize