All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
