So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I have aggressive nipples.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
