I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
