There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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