Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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