So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
