Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
