Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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