And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
