K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
this just has baby written all over it
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
