mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Mom said you looked used
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
