I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
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