And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Houston, we have a blender
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
