I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
