the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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