so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
her vagine was all disorganized.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
