dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
