ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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