Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
