Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
