all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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