we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You've changed since you got that strap on
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
