literally had 100 drinks last night.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
