Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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