You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
