it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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