somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
