If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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