I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
