So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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