He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He shit in the fireplace
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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