She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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