You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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