i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Just puked most of my soul out..
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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