I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
